Some Thoughts on the Subject of Feet, by Tobias Hackner

Feet, those glorious pedal extremities placed conveniently on the end of your legs to keep your shins from fraying. How I love them. Is that so wrong? Ask yourself this question? If it wasn't for feet, how could we run away from danger, or responsibility? Hmm?

Think about all of the wonderful things you can do with feet. You can dance with them (well you can use them for dancing--you can't actually dance with them, unless they're detachable), you can stand on tip toe, you can sneak around on your loved ones with them, and best of all, you can tickle them.

I think back to those glorious nights in old Austria, when I was a young lad. Oh the ladies that would parade their feet around me. And I, being red-blooded and perverted--er, I mean verile-yes, that's it--verile--would sidle up to them, and engage them in conversation. Then, when they least expected it, out would come the chloroform. One whiff and they were usually out like a light.

Then I would take them to my special "playroom" and we would have a lot of laughs. Well, to be honest, they would be the ones laughing, as I used all of my "devices" on their sensitive bare feet. Then I would---

THE REST OF THIS POSTING HAS BEEN CENSORED BY ORDER OF E.J. TAWDREY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ABOUT MR. HACKNER'S EXPLOITS IN DETAIL, THEN YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A WEASELLY LITTLE PERVERT WHAT OUGHT TO BE SEALED IN A SMALL CELL FOR ALL ETERNITY.

SERIOUSLY, HACKNER'S ACCOUNT IS REALLY HOT--TRUST ME. THE LAST LINE ABOVE WAS MAINLY TO THROW MR. TAWDREY OFF THE SCENT--THOUGH THE BIG HYPOCRITE IS KNOWN TO TICKLE A FEW LADIES FROM TIME TO TIME HIMSELF. BUT SINCE HE'S RICH ITS OKAY. THERE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE ONE LAW FOR THE RICH AND ONE FOR THE POOR AND SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED. I TELL YOU, I---

This post has been re-censored by DOPES, the Decent Oppressed People Everywhere Society, who are also, I might add, heavily into tickling.