Some Labor Day Thoughts, from E.J. Tawdrey

Labor Day, huh? Yet another day off for slackers and malcontents. And what will they be doing on their day off? Whinging about how awful their jobs are and how hard they have to work, while in actuality it is us, the business owners, who work the hardest, making sure those greedy, unwashed bottom feeders who work for us don't rob us blind. If I had a quarter for every time a so-called "employee" took an unwarranted bathroom break or a lunch break, I'd be even richer than I am now (and I am hugely rich!!). Let them have bodily functions on their own time and as for eating--isn't that what they should be doing in the privacy of their own homes? These breaks rob me of time--time which could be used to manufacture more of the fine products which my company produces.

But noooooo! The Feds up in DC (lousy commie rats the lot of 'em) insist that this is a holiday--and what's worse--a paid holiday at that! So there's nothing I can do but close the sweat sh---I mean the clean and well-ventilated factory and allow everyone to enjoy their day off.

So wallow in the muck, you filthy pieces of primordial ooze--you slugs--you mouth-breathers (and I mean that in a good way)--enjoy your picnics and hot dogs and families--for its going to be a long time before the next holiday--and till then just remember, I own you and plan to work you till you drop!!!!

Oh, and remember our company slogan, if you really care about someone, get them a Tawdrey gift. Now get out of my sight--you all depress me.

______

Thank you for those inspirational words, Mr. Tawdrey, sir.

AN NOW AN IMPORTENT WORD FROM E.J. TAWDREY

Pickles.





THIS HAS BEEN AN IMPORTANT WORD FROM E.J. TAWDREY.