Some Helpful Advice from...Glut Dollup

Glut Dollup is not a professional advisor, but merely a concerned father. He is also the poet-laurate of Tawdreyville and owner of the largest slaughter house in the tri-county area.

Recently his daughter, Petunia, turned 13 and in an effort to tell her about the "birds and bees" he wrote down some thoughts in a lovely poem. Mr. Dollup had graciously allowed us here to reprint the poem, in hopes that it will help other parents when it comes time to tell their children about the facts of life.

Petunia my dearest, Oh lovely Miss Dollup,
It is my fervent hope that you don't become a trollop.

You've reached a new milestone, and everything's quakey,
But don't just let your morals become shakey.

For being with a boy has quite a ring,
And everyone likes a little bling,
But nine months later you'll have a little thing,
That only that dastardly stork can bring.

So keep your legs closed, your undies in the freezer,
Or your old man will swat you on the beezer.

Oh dear Petunia, darling Miss Dollup,
Here' s hoping you don't grow up to be a trollop.

Like your sister.

Now THAT'S poetry!!!!!